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At last, easy to follow instructions on the ever burgeoning task of buttering your bread. For bread is not just a wheat based consumable, but it is a staple. And what good is a staple if you cant use a stapler, or something like that. Here is the 256 easy step plan to blondely butter your bread:
a. Get bread
2. Get margarine
3. Spread butter on knife
f. Get knife
g. Put bread on tongue the wright weigh up (the side on which you want the application to occur must be facing up - being not down)
7. Put butter on tongue
@. Lick bread
27. Wait for reaction from onlookers, in the case of no onlookers react with shock horror and just a bit of disgust yourself, you must be careful not to act over disgusted as that is seditious and not nice either
a. laugh
*. eat bread
g. burp and/or hiccup (or a selection of randomly generated bodily noises)
z. Repeat as desired.
There you have it, its as simple as writing Pythagaros' theorem while swimming the English channel using nothing but your ears and a spork .
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