Unit 4: Excuses

Ooooh, sweet excuses. These are the things that blondes are made of. Raindrops and roses and sweet kittens noses have nothing on this, my favourite thing. Not the usual dog consumed excuses either, because they dont count. There are indeed rough (excuse the dog pun, not intented I assure you) rules for blondes excuse making, They can be fully itemised in part here:

* Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever blame it on being blonde. Cranius Minimus wrote unto us in his thirteenth sonnetastic script -  "And if one blonde taketh for granted such granted abilities he [or she] will [most] certainly be slapped [on both sides] of the face until the face is red in [colour] and then killed until [dead]"

* If a brunette is around (in personality) then that is the place to which the leaf of autumn blame must fall.

* Dont use the same excuse and/or reason twice in the same period of thirteen days nine hours and thiry five minutes (approx.)

* Be wickedly creative as all blondes must be. Remember never be afraid to apportion reasonings on Stuffed animals, Planets and blemishes as the need arises.

* If your thumb was straight the rule of it would be - Be inventive, be selective, be blonde. And through which you can (like dancing) prove yourself pro or con. For excuses are not just compunding factors for any given action (as some have so intelligently defined it ...is that my trumpet i hear??) , but they can make you one of trying hard (and failing) and most truly unblonde. OR, they could make you feel the experience of the pinnacleriffic peak of full blondeness. Your call.