Unit 6: Hypo - The Adonis of all blonditities

And to all blondes it was said to be HYPO, hypo in the morning and in the afternoon, hypo in the evening underneath the moon, skinnermarinky dinky dink , skinnermarinky do, Hypo be you.

And in case the gist was on the bus you just missed, the carrot I was aiming for, the clowns mouth into which the ball flies and you win a prize you never realised you had always abhored, yes, you must be hypo to be blonde. There is no three ways about it . To be blonde is to be hypo, however it is not necessarily the contra of that.

CAUSES OF HYPONESS

*Chocolate

* Sundry Caffeine products

* Monday Caffeine products

* Musik

* Jumping

* Oxygen

* The earth spinning

CURES FOR HYPONESS

* Death

* Sleep

* A Slap in the face with a wet fish

* Twelve and a half panadol - please note that should the number of panadol you consume be less than or equal to 12.5, hyponess will exponentially increase . More than 12.5 and you will have a situation on your hands.

The above cures are rarely kneeded [a bit like Great Aunts Puff pastry] and should only be used in emergencies, for even hyponess does have its limits and guidelines. Over Hypo Syndrome (OHS) has contributed to nine out of ten Blonde Trauma Fatigue Syndrome cases. Dr Franz Heiffenburger said in his book "Dont Call me Dufus, Dweebo" - "A [blonde] who [becomes overly hypo and ] does things that are quite rather stupid [lit. non-blonde] will most surely be.......harrassed" (Words inserted to make sense of it , after all he was adopted my Chihuahuas and has spent the last sixteen years mastering blind chinese toothpick wrestling).

OHS for prolonged periods of time can cause permanent reputation damage and loss of clear eyesight. One old wife has even said that it can make you get warts. Reach only approved levels and standards of hyponess(16 Giggles, 29 Jumps or 6 Dumb Comments per minute is all most regular blondes can handle before OHS rears its ugly head and attaches itself to your personality like a little sister with no friends of her own).

Allegedley, that is. These limits are yet to be fully tested so we really havent the foggiest.