Unit 8: Switchability

It is a known and proven fact that all blondes indeed possess multiple personalities. Split personalities - different ways they can act in front of people of differing levels. But they need to master, in order to become truly blonde in their ways, the ability to have infinite switchability. This phenomenon (do do do-do-do) is explained in the Protocol XXXIV as follows ..

"Take a firm chicken breast and place in a [steaming] pot of [yummy] marinade type liquid. And the liquid shall not be too hot, and neither too cold shall the liquid be . "

So, as that clarification well, clarified the matter - let us now proceed to cover over it in hearsay and conjecture - in no particular order of course. Whether the hearsay comes before the conjecture is no grave issue, unless of course the hearsay were of someone recently departed and the conjecture of some fatality. Then most surely it would indeed need to be classified under the broad and sweeping category of a grave issue.

Blondes need to be able to call up their powers of blondeship at any given moment to any given person, or in other more simplistic words, they need to be blonde anywhere, anytime and to anyone. While such a high level of switchability is possessed by a select and unknowing few, all learner blondes can start with simple basic switchability . Once mastered they can move on to the long division of switchability.

The beginners level can be developed by such exercises as yelling at yourself in the mirror, arguing against your pillow, yodeling, or the sure fire way to gain unlimited powers of blondeship forever is by extending your arms parallel to the horizon at the exact time the Hayleys comet passes Orion’s Belt and move around through 483 degrees whilst keeping your feet type objects in the same geographic location. In the act of turning you must make noises resembling twice the noise of "Broom" , namely "Broom Broom" . OR Alternatively , you could study this book . Remember never shake a baby running with scissors.