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THE WENDELBORN INSTITUTE OF TWITOLOGY
1994 Inc.
INTRODUCTION TO BLONDENESS
"Many eons ago, a legend, a myth if you would, was started. Over time, as a little shrubbery nursed to life, as a mustard grain sized seed type thingy to a giant tree of the Sequoia, it grew. And it came to pass that from that day onwards Blondes shall be objects of ridicule and ridiculous objects they shall become.
Just as through one myth all Blondes were stereotyped, through our efforts we can keep it so. Yet let not just those blondes in physical appearance be so, but to those with hair of Auburn I say be blonde, to those with hair of the night, be blonde, to those of red pigmentation, be blonde and to all other colours, Be blonde. Yes, be blonde. Not in refraction of light as some may be coloured but in refraction of being as truth does impart.
"Protocol of Blondius Nix Pigmentus, XXXIV" by Cranius Minimus
This is the complete guide to being blonde. So complete is it that complete is incomplete in comparison. Within this guide you will find instructions so simple for being blonde that a trained walnut could dispatch these to the tee. I speak not of hair colour but of life colour, how to truly be blonde as we wish we all could.
Over the months, a new category will be added to this guide web page type thing, slowly but as surely as a Reliant Robin, you will be able to be, see, feel, talk, dance, breathe, jump, butter bread and change light bulbs as a bona fide blonde.
Continue on. And keep in mind that all comments made within these pages are not necessarily the views of the person that wrote them, especially if it was late at night and he really wanted to finish the page he was working on. And please note that all spelling errors are inserted on purpose in line with the new proven technique of Prolonged Exposure learning, under which the basic premise is subconscious blonde information transferral , in the form of apparently misspelled words.
This introductory course is made up of 8 unit standards.
Conrad Formist,
President
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